2022 #2: (No title)
Upper left corner: 2, Jan. '95
Top center: 2022*
Top right: SA logo
Lower right: *New improved look!
Sound effects: SPLAT!, WUMF!, SCHLOOP!
Analysis:
January of 1995. A new year, and a NEW IMPROVED LOOK! Evidently I bought some markers, so I no longer had to scribble-color everything with colored pens. However, you'll still be seeing colored pen scribble-coloring quite often. The comic is somewhat inconsistent on this.
Not only does the comic itself have a new look, but so do the team members. The biggest change is Cybre, who grew his hair out, got a headband, got a blue-with-yellow-stripes suit that exposes the cyber-limbs, and tied yellow bands around the limbs in places to simulate matching the stripes. You'd think tying them directly over the knee and elbow joints would impair mobility somewhat. You'd be wrong, apparently. Finally, he topped the whole new look off with some fire-truck-red boots that clash with absolutely everything.
Meanwhile, Tarian is a bit more pale and sickly-looking, and Lavor is smoother because apparently I was too lazy to keep drawing the half-melted look. I think it's fair to say who got the majority of attention with this art upgrade.
The guy in the lower left corner is Scratch. His power is apparently that he has spines and claws and can, um, scratch. While including him fighting generic bog people alongside the rest of the team isn't as big a lie as putting Isil on the cover in issue #1, it is still somewhat deceitful, in that Scratch is actually the new bad guy. Yes, the whole Raroa storyline was completely jettisoned with no conclusion or explanation, everything is shiny and new now, and I still somehow managed to get Scratch's alignment wrong on the cover.
Lavor: Boy, has it gotten lonely around the base since Cybre left.*
Tarian: Tell me about it.
Caption: *Thanks again!
Analysis:
We join two of our three heroes in the middle of pining for the third with no explanation other than "Thanks again!" Some explanation is necessary: I remember feeling like I had written myself into a corner after the first issue. I had some ideas I wanted to try out, but I was trapped by the current storyline. So, since they were my only readers, I asked my parents if they would mind if I just completely abandoned that storyline and started over with this. It's supposed to just be taken for granted that they beat Raroa, then Cybre's powers started getting weaker, so he left to go on some sort of retreat to go find himself or something. I summed all this up in what's supposed to be one of those notes from the editor you see in comics whenever someone mentions some other event (*See Amazing Amazement Team p. 34 -Ed.) that...points to the fact that my parents gave me permission to just jump to here. So, "thanks again!," mom and dad.
Oh, did I mention that the team has a base now? Because they totally do.
Tarian: I wish Cybre would come back!
Lavor: Me too.
Sound effect: Skrunt!
Analysis:
I wasn't kidding when I said that Lavor and Tarian are pining for Cybre. Tarian is clearly crushing, literally tying himself in knots over his love for the missing teammate. At least Lavor has the fact that Tarian can shapeshift into Cybre, though the sex obviously isn't the same. Tarian doesn't even have that,at least not without making Lavor go through that cumbersome baking process, and is clearly taking it hard.
Wait a minute. "Skrunt?"
Main, Cybre: I wonder how they're doing without me.... Gotta get this suit to a tailor pronto.
Inset, Lavor: I wish I knew where he was....
Analysis:
Cybre apparently let himself go enough to let his hair grow to shoulder length, but not enough to stop shaving. Inconsistent suit coloring brought to you by liquid paper. Also, can you guess which thought has nothing to do with the others?
Panel 1, Cybre: Will I ever get my powers back?
Panel 2, sound effect: Ka-chink!
Panel 3, sound effects: Clink clink clink clink clink clink
Panel 4, Cybre: AAH!
Panel 5, Cybre: I used to be able to do that just fine! That wasn't even part of the Cyber System 2000! I'm getting weaker than I thought!
Panel 5, sound effect: Poof!
Analysis:
Cybre angsts about losing his powers, just before jumping off a mountaintop, catching himself with his cyber arms, and lowering himself safely to the ground. The poor thing is obviously helpless now. Evidently the fact that doing this hurts a bit is evidence that he's getting weaker. You'll just have to take his word for it that he used to be able to do that just fine.
Panel 2, sound effect: WUMF
Analysis:
Scratch has had just about enough of Cybre's mental whining.
Panel 1, inset, sound effect: Wumf!
Panel 1, main, Cybre: C'mon... don't fail me now....
Panel 1, main, sound effects: Klunk, Clink, Ka-chunk
Panel 2, sound effects: SLASH, BOOM
Analysis:
Damn.
Panel 1, sound effect: Bzzzt!
Panel 2, sound effect: Smack!
Panel 3, sound effect: Flump!
Analysis:
You know, between this and the whole Raroa thing, I'm willing to entertain the theory that maybe Cybre is just bad at this. Also, did he just break his neck?
Panel 3, sound effects: Blurp, Bubble
Panel 6, sound effect: Sploosh!
Analysis:
Scratch takes the fallen Cybre, whose appearance in panel 4 does not help with the whole "did he just break his neck?" thing, and summons a couple of those generic bog people from the cover, and has them turn him into a generic bog person with one leg. The sad thing is, with what we've seen so far, this is probably an improvement.
Scratch: I am Scratch, and I'll give my new evil warrior an upgrade!
Analysis:
I like how the "I am Scratch, and" line is crammed in above what would have been the top line in tiny letters, almost as though it were a complete afterthought. I'm fairly certain I just made it this far and then realized that I had completely forgotten to mention Scratch's name, so I kind of shoehorned it into his speech about giving his new evil warrior an upgrade.
Analysis:
Hey, wait a minute, that's Cybre's new form in the "before" shot of the transformation, complete with restored leg, longer hair, and new costume. And it was just established in the last panel that Cybre was already a bog person. Does the plan for Scratch's new evil warrior involve turning him into a bog person, then back into an upgraded version of his human form, then back into a bog person with inappropriate medieval armor? I'm confused.
Scratch: Go attack Lavor and Tarian!
Medival Bog Cybre: Yes master.
Analysis:
"Not to question your orders, master, but if you want them attacked by someone who stands a chance of winning, do you think maybe you could do it?"
Computer: Warning: Attacker approaching!
Lavor: Wait! Look at the computer.
Tarian: Attacker approaching....
Analysis:
"Attacker approaching...that's when there's an attacker, and he's...um...damn, I'm no good with computers."
Computer: Code Red!
Sound effects: Ka-clink! Whirrrrr.
Analysis:
So wait, the base's security system is such that when an intruder is detected, it plays a warning to alert the team and then lets the intruder in anyway? Did they steal this base from Raroa or something?
Panel 1, sound effect: Snatch
Panel 2, Medieval Bog Cybre: Rrgh!
Analysis:
I tried for about ten minutes, but was ultimately unable to make this sequence for how he throws him with that grip and sends him flying at that angle even begin to work in my head.
Panel 1, sound effects: Clang!, Clunk clunk
Panel 2, sound effects: Splat, Ssss
Panel 4, sound effects: Skploosh!
Panel 5, sound effects: Clang!, Flump!
Analysis:
Fortunately for our heroes, Cybre is just as bad at being a villain as he is at being a hero. Really, despite getting 100% of the love from the art upgrade, Cybre just sucks this issue. And once again, Lavor manages to singlehandedly finish the situation in a way that makes everyone around him look completely useless.
Analysis:
Being stabbed clean through the chest with an improvised sword-arm made out of molten lava was just what Cybre needed to snap him out of the medieval bog person spell, and now he's completely 100% fine. Not even his clothing is damaged. And thus, it turns out that this whole issue was basically an excuse to give Cybre a makeover. Because having his leg blown off, getting turned into a medieval bog person, being run through with a molten lava spike, and magically reverting to normal but with a costume upgrade is somehow more plausible than just saying he grew his hair out and bought a new suit. Really.
I guess Scratch just assumed Cybre was going to beat Lavor and Tarian and that would be that, since he clearly didn't think this through enough to, say, ask medieval bog person Cybre where the base is while he was obedient, before sending him to attack it. Good job, Scratch. Now that knowledge is lost forever now that Cybre is a good guy again.
Panel 1, Tarian: Cybre!
Panel 1, Lavor: How...?
Panel 1, Cybre: Interesting tale....
Panel 2, caption: And Cybre tells Lavor and Tarian about Scratch, about his vacation, about the bog people....
Analysis:
Blah blah blah, magical catchup. Because having to go through Cybre's medieval bog person adventure more than once might get boring.
By the way, I was a rampant plagiarist with individual concepts back then. If I was into a certain show or game and it had a particular story element or idea that I liked, I just took it. This will get much, much more blatant and obvious later--starting with the very next issue, even--but for now, this issue contains not one, but two Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers ripoffs: Cybre angsting about losing his powers just before getting an upgrade was because Tommy Oliver as the Green Ranger did that just before becoming the White Ranger, and the bog people are putties. Yes, I ripped off the putties from Power Rangers. This comic is wonderful.
Lavor: Well, we'll get Scratch next time. Right now, let's rest and regain our strength.
Tarian and Cybre: Right!
Analysis:
Now that Cybre is back, there's no way Lavor and Tarian are going to let all that pining go to waste just because there's some sort of villain on the loose. To the bedroom!
Wait, what the hell is up with that door? On top of being a completely unecessarily convoluted shape for the two halves anyway, that is not the way it was when medieval bog person Cybre came through it. Oh, whatever.
Way to not rest until Raroa is destroyed, Cybre.
Next issue: Plagiarism runs rampant and everything the rest of the team has done so far is rendered irrelevant as a Gary Stu-ish newcomer completely takes over!
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